#hoping to do leon and luis next give me a few days

[armandaughter]

like i didn’t just say this. something absolutely nasty coming for resident evil ada and leon enjoyers tn <333

i want to make an ao3 specifically for my nsfw fics i don't want my irls knowing me like that sigh

[sakurachan7734]

Teenage rebellion

Chapter 7: opera singer

Tw: attempted murder

Charlie: so how am I going to get in without people noticing I’m a robot?

Zachary: we will just give the guy your ticket and say you’re gonna be late and we will help you get in through a window

Charlie: ok

Meanwhile with Aristotle in the dressing room

Aristotle pov

I have been waiting for this for a long time and I can’t mess this up in the slightest I have been practicing for months hopefully nothing goes wrong with the show i had finished putting the dress on and now working on my hair and jewelry I know my boyfriends are coming over so I’m not to worried

Meanwhile with Jackson and Charlie

Jackson:* pull Charlie up to the window* geez you’re heavy

Charlie: i’m a robot I’m made of metal Jacka$$

Jackson: I know but I have no muscle on my body

Charlie: then why are you putting me into the theater?

Jackson: they told me to do it since I have the longest arms

Charlie:* climbs with the window* yea i understand now thanks

Jackson: you’re welcome let’s go sit down

They all sit down on a balcony seating area to watch the show when the show starts they were so memorized by Aristotle singing they didn’t notice the somebody was on the stage lights and unscrewing some of the screws so if somebody moves it would immediately fall on someone a few minutes past and someone moves the light to the side Aristotle is on and the light falls on nearly everyone, including Aristotle everyone in the theater starts freaking out and a ambulance was called a ambulance

Zachary: what the hell happened?!

Charlie: I don’t know!!

Jackson: calm down you two!! I’m sure Aristotle will be fine!

Zachary: listen I know you’re blind but Aristotle got crushed

Jackson: what isn’t Aristotle already dead?

Zachary: yes but I don’t know if their father can bring them back if they do end up in the hospital

Jackson:……

Charlie: let’s just hope that they survive

A few minutes later a ambulance arrived and takes everyone everyone to the hospital and a lot of them were pronounced dead on the spot only a few lived Aristotle was one of them but they are in a full body cast and would be out of the hospital in a few months

Aristotle pov

Welp everything that could have went wrong went wrong and now I’m in the hospital in a body cast I probably won’t be released until the beginning of summer I’m surprised that I survived a 20,000 pond light falling on me every part of my body hurts I’m lonely In here because I can’t have gusts right now because It’s about 10:30 pm

Aristotle is about to go to sleep but they heard a knock on the window looking over to see Jackson, Charlie and Zachary opening the hospital window

Aristotle: should I be scared or impressed that you guys found my room?

Charlie: both

Aristotle: you guys are cute when you are worried when one of us gets hurt

Zachary: you almost became a pancake why wouldn’t be worried?!

Aristotle: hay hay I get it don’t be to loud there are other people here

Zachary: oh sorry

Jackson:* sits down on a chair next to the bed* so how are you feeling?

Aristotle: fine everything hurts

Charlie: I can imagine oh and they people that took out the screws

Aristotle: really who?

Zachary: you know those twins Leon and Luis?

Aristotle: yea?

Zachary: well apparently from what Charlie found out is they were planning on sabotaging the show because they didn’t like anyone who was singing but they didn’t plan on killing anyone or causing any harm they tried saying that they unscrewed the wrong light

Aristotle: f**king Christ

Jackson: yea nobody believed them and they are in jail

Aristotle: good

Jackson: when will you be out of here?

Aristotle: probably at the beginning of summer

Charlie: ok we will miss you and we will visit you

Aristotle: I know you will

They all hang out for a few minutes until Charlie, Zachary and Jackson go home 

The next day

Lavender: how are you feeling?

Aristotle: fine body hurts

Lavender: good dads are on the way

Aristotle: good

Lavender: why is there black goo everywhere?

Aristotle: my friends came over yesterday

Lavender: ok when will be back home?

Aristotle: probably when summer begins 

Lavender: awww I will miss you 

Aristotle: I know but you can visit me every day if you want to 

Lavender: I know and I will!

Florence: hello Aristotle

Aristotle: hello father I’m glad you are here

Florence: why wouldn’t we be? If you were already dead you would be

Aristotle: I know father

Dýo: hay kiddo how are you feeling?

Aristotle: hay dad I’m fine my body hurts

Dýo: do you need any medicine?

Aristotle: as far as I know no I don’t

Florence: ok I think you may need to take some medicine when you are out

Aristotle: ok

A few weeks later with Zachary and zoe later that night

Zachary: what do you want Zoe?

Zoe: where are you going?

Zachary: to see one of my partners 

Zoe: where?

Zachary: the hospital

Zoe: what happened to them?

Zachary: they just got really badly

Zoe: ok

Zachary leave the apartment to go to the hospital stoping by a florist to get Aristotle flowers before it made his was to the hospital

Zachary:* knocks on the door* Aristotle can I come in?

Aristotle: yes

Zachary:* enters the room* hi babe

Aristotle: hi Zachary

Zachary: it’s been a few weeks since I seen you how are you?

Aristotle: I have been fine I feel a bit better

Zachary:* puts the flowers down* good

Aristotle: aww you brought me flowers

Zachary: yea I did I figured I would

Aristotle: thank you

Zachary:* sits down on the bed*

Aristotle: ow don’t lean against me

Zachary: oh sorry anyway I wanted to ask you if when you get out of here do you want to go on a date in the woods with Jackson and Charlie?

Aristotle: you know I would love to

Zachary: good hopefully you can get out of here sooner

Aristotle: yea

Zachary and Aristotle talk for hours well if felt like a few minutes

Nurse: visiting time is over 

Zachary: ok bye Aristotle

Aristotle: bye

Zachary: remember date night when you get out!

Aristotle: yes I will



End of chapter





[t-a-l-i-n-a-l-a-n-i]

Roommate Adventures

PART 4 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8  Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Writers Note:

This one is quite long. I wrote it in my first language first and then in english. I hope I did okay 😊

_______________________

It would be an understatement to say that this night was a nightmare.

After Loki has stared you awake you gave yourself beaten and moved to the couch.

You wondered all night what you did wrong in your life to deserve this punishment. Why the hell did he choose YOU?

At 05:00 AM you decided that the night is officially over. You get up, all your bones crackle.

You drag yourself to the kitchen and make yourself a coffee. Azrael is begging for food. Apparently, everyone likes to be hosted by you.

You fill his bowl with food and gently stroke your darlings back.

He is thankful, at least . Somehow.

You put some coffee in your milk and sit in front of the TV. There is nothing special on, but at least you have a background noise that calms you down a bit.

You drink your coffee and bring the cup to the kitchen. You decide, if you are awake at this ungodly hour, you could clean up a bit.

You put the dishes in the dishwasher, clean all surfaces and sweep the laminate floor in the kitchen, hallway and living room.

You go to the bathroom and turn on the washing machine. In a laundry basket are some clean clothes and you decide to take a shower right now.

You will clean up your bedroom later when it is no longer occupied.

Freshly showered you feel much better. Your gaze wanders to the clock. It is almost 08:00 AM.

Since you can already imagine that your uninvited guest will order you around as soon as he is awake, you are already preparing some things.

You put fresh towels in the bathroom, make fresh coffee and adjust everything for a cereal. He will like cereal. Would be better for him at least.

After this aweful night, you don´t have the nerve to argue with his highness.

At least you have your day off. The only bright spot in this patch of darkness, you call life.

You decide to eat cereal, too and sit down in front of the TV with a bowl. There is a breakfast show on but it´s not very entertaining.

You hear the sound of your bedroom door and mentally prepare yourself for what awaits you from now on.

You take a very large spoon of cereal as Loki enters the living room.

You do not look at him, just a tiny "... morning ..." from your side and to your surprise a growl from him, to let you know that he noticed you.

When you realize that he is still standing in the doorway, you look up at him.

He still wears the same clothes as yesterday. His hair is a bit disheveled and he looks tired. But you have to admit that he is a beautiful sight, nevertheless. Even if he is a stupid asshole.

You take a short breath.

"Do not stand there as if you have grown roots, breakfast is in the kitchen. There is also coffee and I put towels in the bathroom for you. "

You look at him, from top to bottom, very slow.

"You may want to take a shower and I can wash your clothes."

"You don´t have to.", He flicks his fingers, you see a green sparkle that surrounds his whole body and when it stops, his outfit has changed.

He looks almost normal now. A black shirt, black pants.

Loki takes a few steps towards you and sits down on the couch, pretty close to you.

You turn your head in his direction.

".... that was quite impressive."

Loki grins mischievously, but does not look at you.

"... but if I were you, I would really take a shower..."

You sniff in his direction dramatically.

Well, he does not smell bad. But just to see his puzzled face was worth it.

He looks down at himself and you can see him sniffing. You can not resist a stupid grin.

While the god has finally decided to take a shower, you offered to prepare his breakfast. Maybe it was just your tiredness, but he seems pretty pleasant-natured today.

Maybe just imagination ...

Twenty minutes later, a freshly showered Loki walks back into the living room and sits next to you again.

His hair is not quite dry yet and you have to admit that he smells awesome.

You shove a tray with a bowl of cereal and a black coffee on it in his direction. You on´t know how he likes his coffee, but you assumed he liked it black.

Apparently you were not wrong about that.

To your surprise, the breakfast is going well.

He ate his meal without hesitation and the coffee seems to be to his satisfaction.

He puts the empty cup back on the tray and looks at you.

A slight shiver goes down your back. Hell, he´s really kind of handsome. And those eyes drive you crazy.

You swallow and shake your head slightly.

"Umm. What's the matter?", You look at him questioningly.

He also looks questioningly back.

He raises his eyebrows and tilted his head as if he were trying to understand something.

"You ... are different today."

You´re eyes open wide.

"Different?"

"Courteous." he looks at the TV now, where a detergent advertisement is currently running.

"My night was a living hell and I do not want to look at anyone who might be to blame for it.", You obviously peer over at him and bend your upper body slightly in his direction.

He bends slightly away from you and looks at you innocently.

That's why I really don´t feel like quarreling with you today, so ... I'll cooperate for the time being, IF YOU BEHAVE! ", You cross your arms.

He nods, "Very wise, mortal, that makes it a lot easier."

"But I'll tell you, I'm not your slave, this is my apartment and if you want to stay here, I want you to behave yourself and be nice to me."

"Mortal, being 'nice' is not in my nature.", You have his undivided attention.

A good moment for you to take a closer look. His eyes are a beautiful mix of green and blue and because of the light that falls through your windows into your living room, they have a very special glow. You almost forgot to answer!

"Well, but you could try it anyway.", You quickly stop your eye contact and focus on the TV. "For example ... you could stop calling me 'Mortal' which, honestly, is rather rude and always sounds like an insult."

Loki thinks for a moment.

"Well, how should I call you then?"

Huh. How..? Oh yes. You never told him your name.

You almost facepalmed yourself.

"Y / N."

"Y / N.", He repeats in his silky voice and it gives you a pleasant shiver on the back.

You nod.

"But you know, Y / N, you ARE a mortal." he grins.

You're breathing annoyed.

"Yeah, sure, but it doesn´t sound nice. See...I neither call you an idiot."

"No, but you call me Luke, Luis, Linus, Lester, Lucius, Leon, Liam ...."

"YES YES YES, sure ..." you interrupt him.

"My name is Loki, you know. I really do not understand why you can´t get that into your head."

You start to laugh.

"Yes, I know! I know that your name is Loki!", The god looks at you irritated and you have to laugh even more.

"Why do you call me different then?"

You shrug and wipe away a tear from laughing from the corner of your eye.

"I thought it was funny!"

Other than you expected, Loki smiles at you.

Bewildered you smile back.

Maybe it's not so bad to have a roommate. Maybe.

To be continued ..... Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8  Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Tags:  @Stargazingchild11 @orighami @fire-in-her-veinz @alexa444 @limedane21 @gorgeourrific-nerd @antidiva

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Samurai Jack vs. Afro Samurai.

WARNING: The following review contains screenshots of large amounts of blood and gore. Please continue at your own discretion.

This battle has been a long time coming. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that this is the first time a character that was owned by Cartoon Network has entered the fray, making this unique in more ways than one. Can the Time-Displaced Warrior defeat The Number 1 Samurai? - We find out in a clash of blades.

Personally, I’m excited to use Jack in the story.

So, this is the second time a character from American animation has fought a character from Japanese animation. I’m not linking to the first one because of reasons.

Jack′s Preview.

I’m pretty sure that the usage of the original opening makes this all the better for the fans of Samurai Jack. Even calling Aku opening a time portal a ‘bitch move’ was pretty hilarious. Especially when Boomstick says “Me” instead of “Him.” There’s just so much to laugh at here, that it’s just hilarious.

Then we get into his training, and that’s when we see all the badass stuff.

(Because of course they have to mention “Jumping Good).

Regardless, Jack’s stats are very impressive. And his blade is just as so. Being forged by not one, not two, but three different gods- Jack’s katana is just plain cool. The fact that those gods all come from different pantheons makes it all the more badass to boot.

Even lampshading that Adamantium (at least the Marvel version) shouldn’t be there, Jack’s feats are super impressive. Like the way of how he jumps good. I had no idea that the boulder he wore was nearly forty tons. You learn something new every day.

I mean, with a resume like that, I think Afro really doesn’t stand much of a chance. “Dibs on Jack for my Basketball team” indeed.

Kinda dissapointed that they never mentioned that off a few technicalities (Like lacking a master, and disobeying certain orders), Jack falls under the category of Ronin. Didn’t even put it in a notecard.

And to be honest, I had completely forgotten about that “Who else wants some” line.

Afro′s Preview.

If these guys were trying to get people invested in the Afro Samurai series, I’d say they did a pretty good job. I’d say that if you enjoy something like Berserk, you’ll enjoy Afro Samurai.

Anyways, they go over the sacred headbands first. Talking about their legend, and the supposed powers they bring. But a notecard and some explanation quickly dispenses any notion that there’s any real power to be held by them.

(”An overhyped strip of cloth…” I had a petty comment about a certain American comic character’s fanbase, but making a comment like that is beneath me).

Tangent aside, Afro’s background has some fair similarities with Jack’s. Like…

Not knowing their real name. Seriously?- What is up with that? Do all great samurais on a quest share this trait?

The background for the headbands is pretty cool too. Showcasing both the benefits and the burdens of each. But, there’s really no actual benefit, and it seems to rely on just the honor system. Quick question!- What’s stopping someone from just stealing the Number 1 headband?- Or just creating a replica of it?

And Boomstick brings up a good point here. The hardest part about being a parent in these types of stories seems to be staying alive, rather than… anything else really.

And I have to agree with the weird naming system they have. Next thing you tell me, is that this series has a series of brothers that are numbered [Link]……… goddammit.

And then there’s how he killed Sword Master, and befriended Ninja Ninja… The original point about the naming still stands. Though, given how unhelpful he (Ninja Ninja) is, I doubt that he’ll be of any use in the fight.

Even the blade and arsenal he wields is impressive. And that Perfect Parry technique sounds similar to that parry move that Ryu has. And it seems like he likes fighting dirty. Which is probably going to be the only real thing he has against Jack.

OH! And for some reason, they give Afro the descriptor of Ronin, but not Jack. That just feels like being cheated out of something.

And his resume… Okay, that laser feat, assassin defeat time, and strength are really the only ones that are impressive. At least, when compared to Jack surviving a fall from space. Pretty sure that one feat beats any of Afro’s.

I’m no expert in this series, but his end line… It’s pretty badass.

The Battle Itself.

Luis (Who did Leon vs. Frank and was on the team that did Strange vs. Fate) is hand animating this entirely with some help from Jerky, making this the second DEATH BATTLE that is completely hand animated (The first being Smokey vs. McGruff). Jack will have the voice of Kanji Tang while Afro will be voiced by Devante’ Johnson, music is called Watch out, Samurai! (Youtube link not available at the moment) and is done by Therewolf, and lead audio is by Chris Kokkinios with the help of Philip Spann (No twitter handle available, so here’s his facebook).

So, the story is that… They smell the blood on the other’s blade, and decide to duke it out. I’m not sure if that was the intent, so I’m guessing there’s really no story at all. The voice actors are just there to say some interesting lines. But regardless of that, look at this beautiful hand-drawn animation!

Seriously though, this is your last chance to turn back. The screenshots get more bloody and violent as the battle progresses.

That’s some freaking nice art right there. And it really helps with the battle, considering that just using sprites would probably not work as well as it could.

So the two start fighting, and are capable of parrying most strikes. And I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Wait! I thought that Jack’s blade couldn’t harm innocent people! Why can it hurt Afro?” And to that I say, “Afro’s an innocent man?- The dude killed his master all because he had the Number 2 headband!”

We also see Afro’s dirty fighting in action, as he uses his cigarette to temporarily blind Jack. But, it doesn’t work as well as it would in most situations. An earlier notecard revealed that Jack could dodge arrows based on sound, so it’s not likely that Afro could deal damage based on that.

In fact, here it is:

The battle rages on until the rope bridge they’re on turns vertical, and Jack falls to his demise- I’m kidding. He jumps back up. Afro even comments on it. It’s a nice little touch considering that most opponents just assumed that people who can Jump Good are capable of flight. The reactions are rather humorous too.

And we also see that neither are leaving the battle unscathed, as Afro manages to get in some good strikes, and then Jack returns the favor.

(Look at that expression. That feels like it could have come straight out of the show).

So, as we can see, Afro manages to disarm Jack, and Jack manages to return the favor.

And in true Samurai Jack fashion, the blade cuts the rest of the bridge.

And then after an intense strike from above, Afro once again, manages to disarm Jack… Literally this time.

(Yeah, that’s not something you’d see in seasons 1-4).

But no need to worry (Unless you were rooting for Afro), Jack, once again, manages to return the favor and then some.

Yeah… That blood and gore warning wasn’t kidding.

Finishing blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

So, with Jack sporting the Rad Spencer look (without the bionic arm) and Afro looking like Jax (without the bionic arms), Jack finishes off his opponent in a brutal fashion that wouldn’t be out of place in Afro’s series.

(Neat little detail: Jack is wearing the headband that Afro used to wear).

Verdict + Explanation.

So, yeah. Jack’s stats just… They just outclass Afro’s. That’s just… Yeah. I think a lot of people were expecting that, but probably also expected it to be a stomp in Jack’s favor. He didn’t come out unscathed, and I’d say that’s probably a bone to be thrown to the Afro fans. They show some amount of respect toward each other, and I can appreciate that.

Overall impression.

Rundown: Cool and informative.

Animation: Beautiful.

Explanation: Really solid.

Rating: 9.2/10. It’s not as long as something like Strange vs. Fate, but it’s still a really awesome episode, and it’s a really good one too.

Next Time…

This looks like it’s going to get bloody…

… I’m going to need that “Blood and Gore” warning for this one too, huh?

If uh… If anyone wants to help out in regards to Lucy’s character, that would be spectacular.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it! 

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Cassidy vs. Lucy. It’s not a creative name, but it rhymes.

[flauntpage]

Blue Jays Mailbag: Bullpen Depth, Gibbons' Slow-Starting Teams, and Trade Chips

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

Andrew Stoeten answers your questions in our Blue Jays Mailbag, which runs weekly at VICE Sports. You can send him questions at stoeten@gmail.com , and follow him on Twitter.

The Blue Jays season just keeps on going. Five more months of this! Oh joy!

But on the field they've actually started treading water enough that fans can seriously contemplate a red-hot run putting their Blue Jays back in contention at some point—meaning the club's recent roster fluctuations aren't mere rearrangements of the deck chairs on the Titanic quite yet. Even if they sometimes have felt that way.

So let's do it to it and take some questions about the bullpen! *COUGH*

And if you have a Blue Jays question you'd like me to tackle for next week, be sure to send it to stoeten@gmail.com. As always, I have not read any of Griff's answers...

Hi Andrew, With the Jays injuries to their pitchers and him doing great in Buffalo and a solid ST until the horrific injury from the line drive, why hasn't TJ House gotten a shot in the show yet? Rian

Uh... I hope you're not asking this about T.J. House as though you think seeing him take the ball for the Blue Jays would be a good thing. It wouldn't. But I get why there might be a little confusion over this, because you're not wrong that House has looked good so far. He's struck out more batters in his brief spell in Buffalo so far than he has at any level for several years (25.2%, compared to 14.6% in 2016 in 72.2 Triple-A innings in the Cleveland organization), and producing a groundball rate over 50%, which has added up to a tidy 1.24 ERA on the season.

The thing is, it's not necessarily just performance that has to be considered. Especially when we're talking about Triple-A performance, which can be misleading at the best of times. (Remember when Randy Wolf sparkled for 23 starts for the Bisons in 2015, bristled about not getting a call-up, and eventually was sent to the Tigers, for whom he made seven starts, posting a 6.23 ERA, and then called it a career?) Still, maybe House had as good a case to get the call as Mat Latos or Casey Lawrence did, but the Jays said at the time that pair was first called up that they were looking for right-handers to face the right-handed-heavy Angels lineup. And House, of course, is a lefty.

There may have also been some kind of handshake deal with Latos, promising him the first available spot start in exchange for not opting out of his contract when he didn't make the club out of spring training. We have no idea if this was the case, but it's at least plausible, and a thing that teams sometimes do.

Has it really come to wanting T.J. House called up? Yes, yes, it has. Photo by Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

The other thing is that Lawrence has minor league options remaining, while House doesn't. If the idea was to bring someone up for only a start or two, perhaps the club felt it made more sense to use the guy they wouldn't have to sneak through waivers just to keep in the organization. (Though they've since designated Lawrence for assignment in order to bring up catcher Mike Ohlman in the wake of Russell Martin's recent shoulder injury).

Because House is the kind of guy the Jays might actually like to keep. The front office knows him well from the Cleveland days, and he started 18 games for them in 2014. That stint makes up the bulk of his big league résumé, and it's not a terrible one: 89 strikeouts in 117.2 innings, a 59.7% groundball rate, and 2.6 walks per nine innings—numbers spoiled somewhat by a higher-than-average home run rate.

Serviceable is the word. And while that's maybe exactly the kind of guy you'd expect the club to turn to, I don't think it's unreasonable that they chose to not imperil their already thin depth and go with Lawrence and Latos for a couple early starts, especially given the handedness issue relating to facing the Angels.

Hey, and good news, T.J. House fans, with the way Blue Jays pitchers have been dropping like flies, he may still get his chance! Though for now all eyes are on Joe Biagini, who had an excellent first start for the club on Sunday, and someone BP Toronto noted over the winter, maybe should have been a starter all along.

Speaking of...

---

Bullpen plans for Gibby w/o his only reliable reliever now (Biagini). In case it wasn't painfully obvious.

@TheRealTayls17

Call me crazy, but I'm actually pretty comfortable with Danny Barnes, Ryan Tepera, Joe Smith, and Dominic Leone bridging the gap between whoever the hell the Jays are starting and closer Roberto Osuna. (For anyone wondering where Jason Grilli's name is here, have you not been watching?)

Barnes has produced very good strikeout totals in the minors, and has limited walks and—despite having fly ball tendencies—home runs. His fastball isn't huge in terms of velocity (he sits in the low 90s), but it generates swing and miss, especially paired with a nice changeup. The ZiPS projection system has Barnes as being worth nearly 1 WAR for the rest of the season, which is based in part on his excellent minor league numbers, but a growing (if still minuscule) sample of big league success, too. So far this year he's allowed just three hits and two walks in nine innings of work. Keep riding him, I say!

Tepera has been up and down between Buffalo and Toronto a bunch over the last few years, so fans know him fairly well. He lives on his heat (94-95), throwing a four-seamer, cutter, and sinker, with little offspeed or breaking stuff mixed in. He hasn't been a dominant reliever, and has tended a little too much toward issuing walks—including 9 in 17.2 innings this season—but I don't think it kills you to give him some higher-leverage opportunities than he's seen.

Leone's results haven't been great so far with the Jays, but the peripherals look pretty good. He's another somewhat hard thrower (93-94), has a good cutter and a slider he could maybe use more of (Brooks Baseball notes that his fourseamer "is basically never swung at and missed compared to other pitchers' fourseamers, results in more flyballs compared to other pitchers' fourseamers, has essentially average velo and has some added backspin"). The 4.73 ERA doesn't look great, but 16 strikeouts in 13.1 innings is something to work with, and the 5 walks (one intentional) work, too. Again, not a dominant guy, but a guy who'll do fine enough most times to get some looks in higher-leverage situations.

Smith, the sidearmer, has been quite good so far, gives clubs a different look, has over 650 games of big league experience, and a spell closing for the Angels in 2014. He's going to look like trash if his pitches frisbee into the middle of the plate, but when he's on it's a thing of beauty.

There's also Grilli, once he finds himself (which we all, y'know, hope he will), the newly-acquired Neil Ramirez (who looks somewhat like a poor man's Grilli—the good version, that is), and whoever else might come up from Buffalo.

So the bullpen might be OK, minus Grilli? Photo by Nick Turchiaro-USA TODAY Sports

So... yes. The bullpen is in flux. This, I think, was always to be expected, even if the sudden loss of Biagini to the rotation, and the less-than-sudden shittiness of Grilli, has thrown a wrench into whatever vague plans were there. John Gibbons is probably going to get heat for it whenever he makes the "wrong call" and a game ends up going sideways. And with guys who look more like middle relievers than late-inning ones being asked to pick up a lot of slack, it's definitely going to happen. But the thing is, even the best of relievers blow games, and these guys here now have a chance to really grab an opportunity and turn themselves into the next Biagini. It could work!

At the very least, it'll be OK. And if the offence ever starts not being completely useless, we might not even notice so much, anyway.

---

Hello, I recently read a stat that since 2013 (the year Gibbons was rehired) the Blue Jays have the MLB's worst record in April. While I detest the 'fire Gibbons' refrain whenever the team plays poorly, I can't help but feel that it is a legitimate criticism of Gibbons and the coaching staff for not doing the right things during spring training to adequately prepare the team to start the season well.

How much responsibility should the coaching staff shoulder for slow starts? Or is it primarily a matter of the type of roster assembled?

Would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Josh

Holy shit. Speaking of John Gibbons taking heat!

But, to be fair, this is actually quite a reasonable way to frame a question that's hard to ask without sounding like you're unduly shitting on the manager. Which is mostly because asking it at all means unduly shitting on the manager.

What are these magical "right things during spring training to adequately prepare the team to start the season well"? And if John Gibbons doesn't know them, why isn't he being steered toward them by Ross Atkins, or Mark Shapiro, or DeMarlo Hale, or Luis Rivera, or Tim Leiper, or Alex Anthopoulos, or Tony LaCava, or Jose Bautista, or Mark Buehrle, or J.P. Ricciardi, or anyone he worked with as the bench coach for the Royals, or the Jays' new high performance department, or the '86 Mets team he played for, or any of the countless other people with vast experience in the game that he's been surrounded by over the years?

Y'know????

I'm not saying that we should just wave this stuff away and pretend it doesn't exist—you're not wrong that slow starts have been a hallmark of some of Gibbons' teams—but this idea that, in the absence of anything else to point to, the manager must be to blame simply doesn't make any sense. I'd be happy to hear some reasoning for it beyond "well he was there and he was the manager, so it's ultimately on him." But what might such reasoning even look like? Is he doing anything differently than any other manager in any other organization? If yes, sure, we should look at it. But if he was, and it seemed possible that it was impacting the team's starts so significantly, my suspicion is that one of the huge number of knowledgeable and successful people who've been in his sphere along the way would have noticed—and if they did notice and try to correct him and he wasn't receptive, then that should have been noticed.

Until you show me something concrete that he does that might explain this, the best explanation is, unfortunately, "shit happens." I know it's not very satisfying to not be able to have someone to point a finger at, but shit happens.

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How much money for real grass and drainage? Would trading JD, JB, Stroman, Sanchez and Morales for cash cover that amount? @StephenDame

I know you're being facetious, but I've seen a few people try to make this kind of a direct connection between a player's salary and the coming renovations at the Rogers Centre, and I really don't think we need to be so scared of that.

I can't claim to know exactly how it's all going to work, but the hundreds of millions of dollars poured into extending the Rogers Centre's life won't be taken directly from the Blue Jays' payroll. Some of it might be! Don't get me wrong, I don't have a whole lot of trust in the company that may have intentionally devalued their own team for years just so they could get a sweetheart deal on the building—which they bought for just $25 million in 2004. But there have been some rather major projects over the last couple of years—a massive upgrade to the roof and the installation of the dirt infield being key among them—and the payroll has been healthier than ever.

Unfortunately, the future upgrades I'm talking about very likely don't include retrofitting the building to have a full grass field—the cost of which seems like it will ultimately prove prohibitive. Hey, but at least we got to swallow that sweet false hope for a few years, eh? Thanks, Beeston!

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IF the jays do end up as sellers come trade deadline who do you think is most likely to be moved and what kind of haul could they get for them? Rian

I think you could probably figure this out on your own, to be perfectly honest, Rian. If they're out of it, they'll certainly move guys who will be free agents once the season ends, which means Bautista, Estrada, and Liriano.

Grilli and Barney will be free agents, too, but whatever the Jays might be able to get for those two as rental players isn't going to be much of a haul. They might nab some interesting depth pieces—the Blue Jays gave up shortstop Dawel Lugo for Cliff Pennington in an August 2015 deal, and Lugo has had a couple very good seasons with the bat since, and ended up the Diamondbacks' tenth best prospect this winter, per Eric Longenhagen of FanGraphs—but nothing that's going to turn the franchise around any time soon.

Unfortunately, there's probably not going to be any kind of massive haul for the big three, either. More than the other two, Bautista's value will depend on his performance heading into the end of July. If he gets right and teams aren't scared off by his reputation, I still don't see him netting much more than Carlos Beltran did for the Yankees last year. That package, if you don't recall, was pretty underwhelming: a couple of arms that look like they're probably relievers, and Dillon Tate, who was the fourth overall pick in 2015, but whose stock dropped massively post-draft. Keith Law had him as the Yankees' 14th best prospect this winter at ESPN.com, calling him a future reliever as well, so...

The market could play out differently for the Jays and Bautista this summer, if that's what it comes to, but I think two months of Beltran is a pretty good baseline, and it's not going to get anybody terribly excited.

As for Estrada, the dream is something like the Jays gave up for two months of David Price in 2015. But, as much as Blue Jays fans may love their AceStrada, I don't think he has nearly the same cachet. He almost certainly isn't going to get back what the Reds did when they moved Johnny Cueto to the Royals, either, but maybe the Jays could get something of a similar shape. That package was centred around Brandon Finnegan—a still-improving young arm who was able to start 30 times for Cincinnati in 2016—and also featured a couple other pitchers (John Lamb, Cody Reed) that were ready to step into the big leagues and be bad, one as a back-end starter and the other as a reliever.

Estrada has been rock solid and has the best strikeout rate of his career. Photo by Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Liriano will be worth even less, one would imagine. And with the pitching market expected to be rather robust in terms of supply, it's not impossible that both will be worth quite a bit less.

Isn't this fun?

Hey, but there's always the chance that the Jays can package a couple of these guys and get something better than what they might bring back as individuals. At last year's deadline the A's sent rental players Josh Reddick and Rich Hill to the Dodgers for a trio of interesting arms: Jharel Cotton, who has struggled out of the gate in Oakland's rotation, but made five very good starts at the end of last season; Grant Holmes, a big, hard-throwing prototypical A's starter whom Law suggests they may have bought low on; and upper-90s throwing relief prospect Frankie Montas.

Useful pieces, in other words. Pieces that, at least in these cases, were at least able to step in and contribute the next year—which could be especially useful for the Jays. Good players, but guys with flaws—with limited ceilings or still steep learning curves—and not quite the kinds of mega-prospects we've seen moved in the last year for studs with years of control remaining, like Chris Sale, Adam Eaton, Andrew Miller, Aroldis Chapman, or even Drew Pomeranz.

Of course, the Jays have a guy who could net prospects from out of that higher tier, but they'd essentially be saying goodbye to both 2017 and 2018 if they were to move Josh Donaldson, and it's still a little too hard to envision them having the stomach for that.

Blue Jays Mailbag: Bullpen Depth, Gibbons' Slow-Starting Teams, and Trade Chips published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv